Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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