I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
