I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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