Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
