Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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