There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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