the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
