I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
