It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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