mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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