if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
