You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
