No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Someone shit on the floor
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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