so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
