never play flip cup with pint glasses
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
