I can tuck mytits in my pants
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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