My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need water and some morals
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
