Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
