By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
