They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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