A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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