Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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