I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
