Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
