the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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