my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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