doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
