good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
