I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
