Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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