No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
