Only a mothe r could love this liver
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
