If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
