i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
