i just had sex bonerless
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
