In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
