is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
