i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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