Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
