shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
