hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
