I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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