this just has baby written all over it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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