he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
