we're blogging at a bar
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
