All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
