just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
