Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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