I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
