Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
