Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
