he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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