WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
